Meeting Regret: How to Overcome the Fear of Saying the Wrong
As a life, executive and confidence coach, a prevalent issue I encounter is fear of saying the wrong thing or "meeting regret". You know that sinking feeling in your stomach after realizing you said something completely wrong in a meeting? Or maybe you didn't say anything and regretted not speaking up? If you nod your head in agreement, you're not alone.
We’ve all been there. You’re in a meeting, and you say something that just doesn’t come out right. It’s like you’re speaking a different language, or you can’t seem to get your point across. Your face turns red, you feel the heat rising, and you’re pretty sure everyone is judging you. Or you didn't say anything at all! You leave the meeting feeling embarrassed, frustrated, and unsure of yourself. That’s what I like to call “meeting regret”.
The fear of saying the wrong thing or not saying anything at all is a common experience for many of us. We worry about how we’ll be perceived by our colleagues and how our mistakes will affect our professional reputation. We get caught up in our heads, overthinking and second-guessing everything we say. And it’s not just about saying the wrong thing – sometimes we regret not saying anything.
So, what can you do when you find yourself amid meeting regret?
Acknowledge your feelings
First of all, you're not alone! I've yet to meet someone who hasn't felt a little foolish and self-conscious because of what they wished they would've said or done. Remember, you're only human! The first step in dealing with meeting regret is acknowledging your feelings. Feeling embarrassed or anxious is normal, and allowing yourself to experience those emotions is essential. Bottling up your feelings will only worsen things, so take time to reflect on what you're feeling and why.
2. Reframe your thoughts
It's easy to fall into a negative thought pattern after saying the wrong thing in a meeting. You might start to think that you're not good enough or that you'll never be able to contribute anything meaningful. However, reframing those thoughts and focusing on the positives is essential. You took a risk by speaking up or trying something new, and that's a win in itself. Take a few moments after each meeting to reflect on how you did. Instead of looking for things that didn’t go well, look for the good.
3. Learn from your mistakes and give yourself a “Meeting Re-Do.”
If you've ever experienced that sinking feeling in your stomach after realizing you said something completely wrong in a meeting, or maybe you didn't say anything and regretted not speaking up, you're not alone! If you can't stop ruminating about the meeting, find a quiet spot and give yourself a re-do. While it may not be possible to go back in time and say everything you wanted to, you can still practice for next time. Take some time to replay the meeting in your mind, but this time, say all the things you wished you'd said during the meeting. This can significantly boost your confidence and make you feel more prepared for future interactions.
After experiencing meeting regret, it's essential to reflect on what went wrong and learn from your mistakes. Did you say something without thinking it through? Did you not prepare enough for the meeting?
4. Practice self-compassion
Finally, it's important to practice self-compassion. Remember that you're human, which means you'll make mistakes. Be kind to yourself, and treat yourself like you would a friend in a similar situation.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Even the most seasoned professionals have their share of blunders. The difference is how they handle those mistakes. They don’t let their failures define them, and neither should you. Instead, use your mistakes as opportunities to grow and improve.
Meeting regret can be a challenging experience, but it’s not the end of the world. Taking a step back, reframing the situation, and practising self-compassion can turn your mistake into a valuable learning experience. So, the next time you find yourself in a meeting, take a deep breath and remember – it’s okay to make mistakes. What’s important is how you handle them. You got this!
