Meeting Regret: How to Overcome the Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing
You know that sinking feeling in your stomach after realizing you said something completely wrong in a meeting? Or maybe you didn't say anything at all and regretted not speaking up? If you're nodding your head in agreement, you're definitely not alone.
We’ve all been there. You’re in a meeting, and you say something that just doesn’t come out right. It’s like you’re speaking a different language, or you just can’t seem to get your point across. Your face turns red, you feel the heat rising, and you’re pretty sure that everyone is judging you. Or you didn't say anything at all! You leave the meeting feeling embarrassed, frustrated, and unsure of yourself. That’s what I like to call “meeting regret”.
The fear of saying the wrong thing or not saying anything at all is a common experience for many of us. We worry about how we’ll be perceived by our colleagues and how our mistakes will affect our professional reputation. We get caught up in our own heads, overthinking and second-guessing everything we say. And it’s not just about saying the wrong thing – sometimes we regret not saying anything at all.
So, what can you do when you find yourself in the midst of meeting regret?
Acknowledge your feelings
First of all, you're not alone! I've yet to meet someone who hasn't felt a little foolish and self-conscious because of what they wished they would've said or done. Remember, you're only human! The first step in dealing with meeting regret is acknowledging your feelings. It's normal to feel embarrassed or anxious, and it's important to allow yourself to experience those emotions. Bottling up your feelings will only make things worse, so take some time to reflect on what you're feeling and why.
2. Reframe your thoughts
It's easy to fall into a negative thought pattern after saying the wrong thing in a meeting. You might start to think that you're not good enough or that you'll never be able to contribute anything meaningful. However, it's important to reframe those thoughts and focus on the positives. You took a risk by speaking up or trying something new, and that's a win in itself. Take a few moments after each meeting to reflect on how you did. Instead of looking for things that didn’t go well, look for the good.
3. Learn from your mistakes and give yourself a “Meeting Re-Do”
If you've ever experienced that sinking feeling in your stomach after realizing you said something completely wrong in a meeting, or maybe you didn't say anything and regretted not speaking up, you're not alone! If you can't stop ruminating about the meeting, find a quiet spot and give yourself a re-do. While it may not be possible to go back in time and say everything you wanted to, you can still practice for next time. Take some time to replay the meeting in your mind, but this time, say all the things you wished you'd said during the meeting. This can be a great way to boost your confidence and feel more prepared for future interactions.
After experiencing meeting regret, it's important to reflect on what went wrong and learn from your mistakes. Did you say something without thinking it through? Did you not prepare enough for the meeting?
4. Practice self-compassion
Finally, it's important to practice self-compassion. Remember that you're human, and that means you're going to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself, and treat yourself the way you would treat a friend who was going through a similar situation.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Even the most seasoned professionals have their share of blunders. The difference is how they handle those mistakes. They don’t let their failures define them, and neither should you. Instead, use your mistakes as opportunities to grow and improve.
Meeting regret can be a difficult experience, but it’s not the end of the world. By taking a step back, reframing the situation, and practising self-compassion, you can turn your mistake into a valuable learning experience. So, the next time you find yourself in a meeting, take a deep breath and remember – it’s okay to make mistakes. What’s important is how you handle them. You got this!
If you tend to overanalyze what was said in meetings and often feel anxious afterwards, consider exploring my exclusive coaching program, Confidence and Clarity, designed to boost your public speaking confidence. In this program, I'll guide you in quieting your self-doubts and cultivating unshakable confidence and self-belief. This way, you can confidently contribute in meetings and receive the recognition you rightly deserve in your professional endeavours.
